NZ Self Defence Academy, Wellington, New Zealand

Nomadic Kravver

New Zealand Self Defence Academy

Wellington, New Zealand

Thursday 9th February 2017

When I got to New Zealand there was only one Krav club in the whole country that was affiliated to the organisation I belong to, Krav Maga Global. However, while training with Aaron Moore he told me that a new club in Wellington had switched allegiance from IKMF to KMG that very week, called the New Zealand Self Defence Academy.

I got the number of the club’s owner, Andre Maritz and gave him a bell once I flew to Wellington a few days later. He said he was more than happy for me to train with his club and gave me the address for the Thursday session, in Johnsonville.

Looking at the timetable on the club’s website, it showed a Junior Krav class at 4.45 so I offered to help out, what with having qualified as a Kids Instructor under Zeev Cohen in Israel last summer. Andre replied that was great and if I wanted to I could actually teach the class.

Oh yes!

I got there about 4pm and we chatted at the club premises. Andre has his own dojo, with focus mitts and strike shields stacked up in one corner. There were also two large punch bags that needed hanging up and Andre said the mats to cover the floor were on the way. The place is relatively new and the KMG logos and posters were on the most prominent windows for passersby to see.

At 4.45 two Chinese lads turned up. Brothers at High school, they had been doing Krav for a month or two and I got them doing some basic striking work and moving about. Both needed a little bit of confidence on their punching (a mistake most of us made when we started is hitting with the wrist relaxed, something that can cause painful and serious problems in a real situation). We then worked in some knee strikes and then I put in my own personal favourite, the Adrenaline training.

Adrenaline was something I encountered in 2014 at the Eyal Yanilov world tour. Me and 9 others were selected by Eyal to fight what are known as the Bullet Men. I had never felt so scared in a very long time but the whole experience was a lot of fun and over the next year or two I did 3 separate courses connected to Adrenalin, organised by Wayne Hubball and KMG UK head, Jon Bullock.

The preliminary stage before the fighting starts is a ‘verbal only’ confrontation where the Bullet Men (also known as Predators) will walk up to you and be aggressive but without resorting to violence. This is known as “woofing” because it’s similar to a dog asserting authority. In the seminars I did, they also wear sunglasses so you can’t see their eyes and will say some of THE most offensive and insulting things in order to try and elicit a fearful or aggressive response. Your task is to remain calm, stand still without adjusting your feet to a fighting stance, and hold your palms up. At the point where you feel the situation is no longer comfortable (as the Predators will sometimes be merely polite, e.g. “You got the time mate?” as they know you are expecting them to be aggressive from the start), you are to shout “BACK AWAY! LEAVE ME ALONE!” and refuse to engage in conversation. You do not answer their questions or respond to their provocation and you must not gesture with your hands (as this can be insulting and/ or aggressive…which is what they want). If you tick the boxes then the Predators will back off.

Having done this myself I know it’s nerve wracking and quite frankly feels horrible until you have done it a few times. As Jon Bullock pointed out on Adrenaline 2, it is not fear of being beaten up, it’s fear of looking foolish that is the main reason your heart rate spikes.

With children the scenarios are obviously turned down considerably and the main ‘aggression’ comes from shouting, not from the language itself. I pointed out to the two lads that if, at any time they felt uncomfortable and did not wish to continue, then they should raise one arm above their head and say “STOP!”

Both lads handled it really well, despite both saying they felt scared at first.

Afterwards Andre asked if I’d mind taking the next two classes as well, as he liked how I’d taught the Juniors and wanted to try “new thing” from somebody outside New Zealand. I was flattered to be asked and agreed straight away.

As the Beginners class began arriving I was introduced to a few people including Jeremy, a big guy who works as a bouncer in bars and clubs. The class had three women also and once Andre introduced me I got them doing the warm up my instructor Bartosz at Krav Maga Midlands UK had us doing. After about 15 minutes of that we then moved into some basic punching and striking with the elbow. This got everyone working really well and we then moved into a striking drill where, in groups of three, one person had to repeatedly punch a strike shield held by one of their partners, while the third person tried to “bracket” them in. This was fun as it got everyone being aware of what was around them and the golden importance of scanning.

We then had a quick chat about situational awareness where I pointed out that one of my biggest hang ups in a public place is people texting on their phones while walking. I cited an example of when I’d seen a little kid walk up and snatch a woman’s phone in London when she was doing exactly that.

We then moved on to Adrenaline with this version being slightly more tense than the one I did with the children before. I pointed out that once again, they could simply raise their arm and say “stop” if they didn’t wish to continue.

Nearly everyone made the mistakes that nearly all of us make when trying this for the first time and let me get way too close, didn’t use a loud voice and engaged in conversation in response to my aggressive questions (e.g. “OR WHAT?!”). After everyone had been through once, one of the women asked what they should do if me or a real assailant keeps asking questions. I replied that you do not ever engage in conversation and simply keep repeating “BACK AWAY! LEAVE ME ALONE!” I also pointed out that this tactic is not infallible but bullies are usually looking for someone to prey on and being confidently aggressive in response will give you a better chance of them backing away.

One lady then had another go, doing it correctly and I backed away as per the scenario’s check list of behaviour. 

Comments I got later were that they’d enjoyed it as it gave a fresh perspective of how to deal with confrontation and fitted into Krav’s methodology of avoiding confrontation if possible.

The Advanced class then arrived, with two guys from the Beginners staying on for it. One lad was a P2 with IKMF, the patch on his training trousers was something I hadn’t seen before and is quite different to KMG’s.

We went through the same 15 minute warm up as the Beginners and then moved into striking before concentrating on choke releases. Side, front, and back were used and I then got them to try on each other with their eyes closed. After that we moved to one person stood in the middle with their eyes closed and the others would walk up and try one of the three chokes on them. 

Finally we got into a pressure drill of a choker, a stick man and a pad man, attacking one person for a minute, who had to keep moving. I stressed the importance of not going in between the assailants and to try and keep outside of them or keep them ‘in a line’ as per the training I was given in the UK.

We then formed up for the final Kida and Andre thanked me for my time. 

This was an awesome evening and I am very grateful to Andre for allowing me this opportunity. Next day he took me on a mini-tour of Wellington to stay thanks, even buying us both fish and chips on the sea front for lunch. A true gentleman.

An awesome experience with a great club.

New Zealand Self Defence Academy can be reached via Andre Maritz and can be reached at:

info@selfdefenceacademy.co.nz

Adrenaline level 3: Room 101

MY review of FAST Reality UK's Adrenaline 3 event with Krav Maga Global UK, from the KMG UK website. (click the photo)

The Investment

In late 2001 I snapped the anterior crusciate ligament in my left knee. I was sparring with a kickboxing instructor named Bertram who was basically kicking my ass. When I tried a roundhouse kick,  I kept my entire left foot on the floor instead of balancing on the ball of it, and the strain snapped the ACL. There was a "crunch" noise and I signalled to Bertram to stop beating me, then hobbled off the mat in order to soothe my sore appendage.

Next day the knee was horrendously tender and swollen to the size of a small grapefruit. I didn't know what was wrong and simply waited for the swelling to go down and then strapped the leg up and carried on. Months later I was told that I had almost certainly snapped the ACL and while I didn't think much of it, as the knee was 'manageable' and the pain almost non-existent, I found out in 2004 that this was a much bigger deal than I'd imagined.

I applied for the City of London police Special Constabulary (volunteer cops) and was rejected on medical grounds due to declaring the knee injury. The force medical officer was polite and to the point, and said that if I'd waited to apply in 2005 it wouldn't matter as new laws were coming in that would make it wrong for them to reject me on these grounds. However...now the old rules applied and she reluctantly had to say no to my application. I asked if I could be allowed an appeal, if I could get the knee repaired. She said yes.

So I went back to the doctor and began the long process of consultation, MRI scan and visits to a specialist. After several months I was booked in for an operation and spent the night in a hospital bed, in preparation for my early morning op, kept awake by two old men squabbling in the adjacent beds. Morning came and the anaesthetist arrived to prep me for my time under the scalpel. Then he told me to put on a backless gown and wait. An hour or so later the consultant surgeon arrived (a man I had only glimpsed from afar up to this point and had always been seen by his underlings). He breezily asked me to swing my legs up on the bed. I'd had the foresight to keep my undies on, despite being told not to, which was a good job as he was with two junior, female doctors. To make matters worse, one was very pretty. He then proceeded to twist and manipulate my lower leg, regularly asking "Does this hurt?" When he realised it didn't he then said "Leg's healthy. You don't need the operation. You can go home."

Overjoyed, I sped home and sent the forms off to the COLP medical officer who then accepted me as healthy, I got interviewed, accepted and joined in October 2004

However....

It turned out that far from what I naively believed had been a case of 'self healing', the leg muscles around my knees had simply grown bigger due to the amount of cycling I was regularly doing in London. The ACL was still broken but, like having a strong set of core muscles in your belly, all that exercise meant that the knees were now having the majority of the strain on the surviving ligament, dealt with by the increase in muscle.

Years later and the knee still twinged. Like tectonic plates grinding into each other, the knee cap would rub into other bits and acidic, sharp pain would shoot up my leg. I was rejected by both the Territorial Army and the RAF Reservists on my paper applications, without even being seen, solely due to the ACL damage. Both said "Get it repaired, then reapply after 18 months."

In Krav training I would have to wear not one but two knee supports on that leg and also take a shit load of painkillers after gradings, due to the soreness and swelling after 4 hours of beasting, with at least 30 minutes of full on sparring to top it all off. I couldn't sit on my heels when I knelt down. I was advised in the strongest possible terms by a knee specialist that I NOT go jogging. The impact would cause inflammation to the knee and put me back. Cycling was fine but running, which I love, was out.

This year I decided what I really want to do is be fully fit again. I want to run, jump and twist without fear of having to open the Ibuprofen. I want to grade in Krav Maga without fearing that someone will boot me in the kneecap and send me howling to the floor. I want above all to be a Fast Defence instructor with Wayne Hubball in 2016.

I went for another MRI scan on my knee a few months ago after referral from my local doctor. I then got to Warwick Hospital to see a consultant. They put me on a waiting list and last week told me that my operation to repair the ACL will happen on the 25th of August 2015. Convalescence time is 6 months, meaning no Krav for that entire time.

This dictates that I will miss both chances to retest my P5 exam in October and December. I will miss shit loads of training and also the seminars run nationally and by my own club Krav MagaMidlands. Guys who are currently P3 will be probably taking their P5 the same time as me. Guys who are currently P4 could well be taking G1.

But....the light at the end of the tunnel is that I will come back fitter, healthier and with more endurance. Things I cannot do now without pain and physical instability will be much easier to perform. I will be able to fight without the paranoia of wondering if my knee will get hurt during the kicks and punches, takedowns and ground work.

It's an investment and one I wish I'd taken a long time ago

Short term gain gives short term pleasure. One thing Krav Maga has taught me is that sometimes you need to be patient and put your ego and desires to one side in order to be all you can be.

Review of Adrenaline Level 2

Krav Maga Global & FAST Defence UK

Harlow Leisurezone, Essex, UK

Saturday 6th June 2015

By Lance Manley

"Let Us Prey!"

Fast Defence UK has been around for about 30 years. Considered by many to be the "missing link" between self defence and martial arts training, FAST stands for "Fear, Adrenaline and Stress Training."

Their website states "FAST training empowers people by teaching how to manage the adrenaline release – no matter what the perceived threat and no matter what the context – and use it to create the most appropriate win." Most importantly it also says that training teaches people to "avoid, defuse and, if absolutely necessary, stop violence directed at them."

I had a taste of what this involves in June 2014 at the Krav Maga Global World Tour with Eyal Yanilov (KMG Chief Instructor). Me and 9 others got chosen by Master Eyal to fight what are known as the "predators". These are aggressive, violent and ferocious attackers who come out with verbal as well as physical assaults. The basis of the scenarios we entered can be boiled down to this:

"One or more guys are in your face. What are you going to do?"

Predator armour is unique in design in that it allows full freedom of movement for the person inside the "suit" but also allows their opponent/ victim to strike to the face, chest and groin as hard as they can.

Adrenaline level 1 is based on one attacker and encourages the use of "tunnel vision" to retain focus on what is directly in front of you.

On Adrenaline 2, the game is changed in that you have multiple predators and have to deal with varying scenarios with between 2 and 5 attackers.

I'd been looking forward to this for several months and arrived early at Harlow Leisurezone. I met Andras Millward, Director of Instructor Development for FAST in the canteen. I asked him about FAST's recent surge in popularity and he said:

"There's been a big change, big upheaval in the FAST defence world. WE knew it worked but we weren't very good at telling the world it worked. A LOT of new people have come on board now. It's a lot stronger. Our relationship with Krav Maga Global is really helping our profile as well. We're like one of the best kept secrets in the world. Today we've got 50 to 55 students booked in. On Adrenaline 1 we had people coming here from abroad, countries like Switzerland, France and Norway. Our purpose today is to give you all more information about the adrenal release and response and then put you back in it again."

We kicked off just after 10.30am and Andras plus the head of Krav Maga Global UK, Jon Bullock spoke to us about what the day had in store. Then we had a lecture from Dr Kirsty Hunter, about the scientific aspects of the body's response to threat. We were told about the importance of correct breathing (inhale to belly, then chest through the nose, exhale through the mouth) and the different reactions to fear. She also told us about FAST's "A,B,C's" which stands for Awareness, Boundaries and Conflict Resolution (or Combatives).

Awareness means the ability to observe and accurately interpret stimuli within our environment and then identify and manage our own internal state. Boundaries means knowing how and when to establish recognisable physical and/or emotional boundaries, and is considered essential to what FAST teaches. Combatives covers situations that require physical self-defence and provides simple and effective techniques that can be learnt and applied successfully by all, irrespective of age or sex.

After Dr Hunter had spoken to us we then moved into the preliminary phase of the training, the "woofing."

Woofing refers to where people are threatening or verbally aggressive in order to test boundaries. Like a dog barking, the expression describes how people can behave when trying to intimidate or even attack others. We were told that body language is VERY important for us in these scenarios. You are taught to stand with your feet steady but NOT to assume a "fighting stance" (which comes so easily to those who train in martial arts). You start with your hands held loosely together below your waist and only raise them if you feel your boundaries are threatened. Even then you are told categorically not to point or look like you are pointing, so you keep your hands with the palms facing forwards. Language is crucial and swearing a BIG no-no. The question "What do you want?" is designed to make an aggressor actually think of a response involving what is known as higher brain function as they have to consider their response. We were encouraged to utilise the phrases "You need to leave!" and "Back away!" or Back off!" when dealing with threatening or intimidating behaviour.

There were two groups with a coach and several "woofers" on designated areas of the sports hall. One at a time we went out onto the mats and had to deal with them. The guys we were facing wore sunglasses so you couldn't see their eyes, further upping the adrenaline factor and their behaviour towards us ranged from mildly obnoxious to criminally aggressive. In order to enhance the realism of the role plays, the actors would pick up on personal traits or clothing choices. I wear bandanas to keep my hair out of my face in training and that day was wearing a camouflage patterned one. Sure enough, the opening line as they pounded towards me was "You in the army or something?!!" When I replied "Sorry mate, I can't hear you" the guy snarled and went "What you deaf as well?!! And I'm not your f***ing mate!!!" Heart hammering in my chest I stuck to the game plan, while coach Caroline Braxton stood behind me observing what was going on. I shouted "BACK AWAY!!! JUST GO!!! LEAVE!!!" and various combinations while the actors continued to make fun of me but did back off. Anatoli Krassavine from my club Krav Maga Midlands was there and it was good to have a team mate on board.

As the others went up it was clear that the actors wouldn't back away unless we ticked certain boxes with regard to etiquette on our own behalf. Anyone pointing (a gesture infuriatingly easy to make when your hands are outstretched) would have the actors yelling indignantly at them and coming back. Anyone who walked towards them (again, an easy mistake to make) would be perceived as "wanting some". Finally we all went through the drills and during a short lunch break I spoke to FAST UK Director Wayne Hubball and Caroline Braxton.

Wayne said, "It's gone very well. Everyone seems to have picked up all the learning points. It's great to see how people have advanced from Adrenaline 1."

Caroline is also a specialist in Neuro Linguistic Programming and incorporating FAST into corporate business. She said, "I think it's going really, really well. The training's embedded in them and while you all might not remember what you did in Adrenaline 1, it's all coming back. It's a nice recap."

After lunch Jon Bullock then took us for what could euphemistically be called a "warm up". We worked on trying to get our partners to the floor; punching to the body; groups of 3 with two vs one and several variations. Jon told us on several occasions not to "pretend" about what we were doing and to deal with our movements realistically. This went on for about 40 minutes and was about as gruelling as my last Krav Maga grading. Afterwards Jon stated that while we might hate him at that moment he had done us a favour by "inoculating" us to what we were about to do and also getting us used to being in close quarters brawling. He also pointed out that the biggest fear we really had was not of getting hurt but of failing, or looking foolish in front of our friends and peers.

Then it came time to meet the predators again. The last time I faced these guys I was beyond nervous. This time I was enthusiastic but there was no way of denying that the nerves were jangling once more. We split into two groups of roughly 25 people, with a coach and several predators per group. The students lined up facing each other either side of the squares, and each line took turns. The worst part about this is the initial phase, where you stand, usually with your back to the predators and close your eyes. You inform the coach of any niggling injuries (in my case a dodgy left knee) and she will signal to them which bit of your body they should try to avoid hurting. Then the game's on.

The first time I was up, I got violently shoved forwards and whirled to find a guy stood behind me, shouting incoherent threats and trying to slap and push me. His mates were also marching up and then I was retaliating. You have no chance to try and remember what techniques you may have learned in Krav or any other discipline, you are operating solely on instinct and muscle memory. The whole thing was a blur that retrospectively seemed to last about 2 seconds. I remember using an elbow strike to knock one opponent on his back and that was about it. Before I knew it the whistle was blowing and it was all over, people clapping, and me trying to get my breath back.

It was interesting to see how different people handled the situations. Some of the better fighters really made their punches and kicks count while the most aggressive fighters in these situations appeared to be the women. After a short break for the predators to breathe, we went up once more. The second time I had a rougher deal with one guy pinning my arms. I was screaming a lot of abuse and dropping clusters of C-bombs while Caroline encouraged me to yell at them. One or two of the other guys who went up had opportunities to use verbal "persuasion" rather than just punching, proving the point that if you are trained to handle adrenaline you can react appropriately. Another thing that happened four or five times was guys losing their T-shirts while grappling. The predators would take advantage of this and try and keep it over the practitioner's face unless they managed to wriggle free.

Our side of the room finished before the other and we joined the remaining group to give them some encouragement. Amusingly, the predators from our side then joined in, meaning some guys had to fight up to five at a time.

Finally we stopped and Andras Millward gave a closing talk followed by Jon Bullock who asked us how we felt the day had gone and got us to give a round of applause to the "crazy guys" who donned the Predator armour. We then got our attendance certificates and shook Andras's hand before changing into fresh T-shirts and anticipating a good meal and a shower.

Afterwards I spoke to Krav practitioner Barry Macinnes.

"Thoroughly enjoyed it, very good. Even better than the first one and it's spurred me into becoming a FAST instructor."

I also spoke to Andras Millward who said, "I love doing these events with KMG. You guys come in with full commitment and honesty and it makes our job a lot easier. You really bring your heart and soul into every fight. In the grey areas of verbal assertion you guys are really good. A lot of you handled some very, very complex scenarios."

Jon Bullock was also very pleased with how things had gone.

"The idea was obviously to give them the adrenaline experience again. What we did this time was change the dynamic. So there's pressure but there's more things to think about such as movement, positioning, dealing with more than one person. It is likely that in general a self defence situation would involve more than one person."

I asked him to sum up the day in three words and he replied, "Experience, learning, and review."

A great day for everyone involved. The predators, coaches, instructors and students all had a great time and I cannot speak highly enough of this event. Adrenaline is just what I needed. I am now, like Barry Macinness, looking forward to getting more involved in this world and the future is bright.

Adrenaline Breakout

Video from last Saturday's Adrenaline level 2 event at Harlow Leisurezone, Essex, UK.

Patience

I found out in 2002 that my left knee was bereft of its anterior crusciate ligament. I was doing kickboxing and fighting with the instructor of the club. I tried to pivot on the left leg and instead of using the ball of my foot I kept it flat, meaning a noise like a lettuce being hacked with a steak knife reverberated through my body. I limped off to the side and had a knee the size of a grapefruit for about a week.

In 2004 I went for an operation at a hospital in London and the consultant surgeon (a bloke I'd only seen at a distance up to that point) turned up in his gold watch and Saville Row suit and manipulated my leg. After asking that old chestnut "Does this hurt?" a few times, he then pronounced that my leg was perfectly healthy, I didn't need surgery and to go home.

Happily I skipped home, smiling like a spoiled child on Xmas morning, as I naively believed the ACL had somehow grown back of its own accord.

It turned out that because I was doing a shit load of cycling in London, the knee had compensated for the missing ligament by growing lots of muscle and the leg was stable enough to not warrant the operation

Basically, that prick of a doctor was saving a a few quid.

Years later and the issue turned up to haunt me. I was rejected without interview for both the Postal & Courier Regiment of the Logistics Corp of the British Army and the RAF Reserves for this. As soon as my medical history was seen, they didn't want to know. The TA major in charge of recruitment spoke to me at length on the phone and said "Once you're in, you can get as injured as you want... but if they let you in with an existing injury you might sue them...and they don't want that."

I can't go jogging because the next day the knee is sore and swollen. A physio I go to occasionally said not to run but cycle instead and compared my knee to tectonic plates below San Franciso. They grind together and occasionally that causes issues on the surface.

In Krav Maga the knee has proved to be a nuisance. If I grade then it's swollen like a bastard but I have learned to adapt by taking painkillers before and after (including anti inflammatory pills like Diclofenac) and also wearing not one but TWO knee braces (a medical one and a Poundland blue/black thingy). This has meant the knee is manageable in the short term BUT my flexibility is fucking awful in my lower body and kicks from my left leg can be like Bambi trying to stand up, especially if I'm tired. I can't kneel on my heels as it is beyond painful.

It's basically kind of sucky.

Recently I went to a doctor who referred me to hospital, who sent me for an MRI scan who then called me in to see a nurse in the Fracture Clinic. She said the knee can be repaired, the operation waiting time is a maximum of 15 weeks and I will be discharged the same day. The knee will then be healthy and I can go jogging, do yoga like a boss and have the flexibility I've missed for 13 years.

However there's a downside.

When I get this done I will be out of training of ANY variety, be it Krav Maga, cardio or yoga...from between 6 to 12 months. The nurse specifically said the timeline would be:

2 weeks complete rest. 6 weeks no driving. 6 to 12 months no combat or training.

I failed P5 in March of this year and the next grading is in October. I've recently read about a discipline called Ghost Fighter, which maximises ability to hit, while minimising the chance of being hit back. That's right up my alley and I will attend my "taster" class next Monday to see if I like it. I've kept my cardio up to speed to deal with the abject misery that is the sparring of a P5 grading (last time we did 7 rounds of 2 minutes, followed by 10 rounds of 4 against 1) and have Wayne Hubball's Adrenaline coming up on June 6th.

Problem is that the hospital have offered me surgery and will only postpone for 6 months. That means I can go on my summer holiday from June to July for 4 weeks but I will have to then ask to go back on the waiting list...or lose my place completely. The operation will happen by September so if I have it I will miss my P5 resit.

Thing is... there are a multitude of factors FOR doing this and a lot less for not. If I get my knee repaired I will (later) be stronger, fitter and have more endurance. My kicking from the left leg will be more powerful and I will be able to fight without worrying if my knee will go "click" at the wrong moment. I will have to wait until at least March 2016 for my P5 exam, remembering that I passed my P4 in March 2014.

Ultimately it's a question of priorities. I know that I need to be fully fit for a grading and for training and by being patient I can come back and aspire to G level and beyond. The brief satisfaction of getting my five bar patch with repairs pending, will not happen.

There's a time to be patient.

How I Looked vs. How I Felt

In June of last year me and 9 others were personally chosen by Eyal Yanilov to fight the Predators at the KMG World Tour. The Fast Defence guys from Wayne Hubball's Adrenaline organisation.

I've blogged about this before but something I haven't really touched upon is how different the experience looked compared to how I felt about it.

I'm currently reading Geoff Thompson's book "Fear: The Friend of Exceptional People." It's a tremendous book, crammed with awesome advice about how to cope with being scared. His best advice is simply to say "I can handle it, whatever it is."

He points out that fear is felt by everyone to some degree and if anyone says they have never been frightened then they are lying. Fear is necessary to function in life. As the saying goes "Fear shows you where the edge is." But the problems arise when fear is not acted upon but suppressed or pushed aside or ignored. Then it stays around like the smell in a bachelor pad bathroom the morning after a stag do. It helps no one and is only destructive.

Last June there were over 100 of us, eager eyed practitioners sat on the floor at Hengrove Leisure centre in Bristol, UK. Eyal Yanilov was there and it was enough to make me nervous just being in the same room as this guy. As embarrassing as that is to admit, it was how I felt. There is after all, a difference between how we feel and how we think we SHOULD feel. Jon Bullock the head of KMG UK was also there along with a vast array of UK instructors. As the initial introductions got underway, without warning two uncouth, obnoxious blokes appeared in the seating area to one side and shouted (amongst other things) that we were all a bunch of "fucking wankers" and Krav was a "load of shit." When Jon Bullock approached them to tell them to leave, one threw the drink he was holding at him. The guys looked for all the world like two ex soldiers or unemployed oil rig workers who had had too much to drink and felt like taking on a room full of Krav Maga students and their teachers, just for kicks. After nervous laughter the seminar resumed, only for the two guys to reappear at the other end of the room in Predator outfits. Alan Dennis beat them down while Eyal Yanilov was escorted off the mats.

After it was over and while relieved chuckling was heard around the room, Jon stated that at the end of the day 10 people would be chosen personally by Eyal to fight the Predators in front of everyone....if they wanted to. To be picked you had to have somehow caught Eyal's eye and shown determination, or skill, or dedication, or all three.

Immediately my mind went into hyperdrive. I was nervous anyway and this news just helped to kick the hornets' nest right over. The little gremlin in my head was nattering at full speed.

"What if I got picked? I'm not a good sparrer or fighter, that I know. I've had counselling around my reluctance to fight. What if I'm picked? WHAT IF I'M PICKED?!! Huge honour though it would be maybe it would be better if I offered it to someone like Lewis Turpin from my club. After all, he's a blood descendent of former world champion boxer Randolph Turpin and can fight for England. Yes, much better if I offer the opportunity away. I mean, I don't want to embarrass my club do I? Think of the humiliation of just freezing with your hands down in front of the worldwide head of KMG, the head of KMG UK, my own club Krav Maga Midlands' chief instructor, one of my own club's other instructors, plus about 10 guys from my club? I'm not a fighter and that's all there is to it. To have to go up in front of everyone like that would overwhelm me. It'd be like being in the Colosseum in ancient Rome. Yes, much better to give that offer away should it come my way. After all, Lewis or Al or Tomasz would put on a much better show than I ever could."

Looking back on it, my nervousness at the whole event was simply finding outlets in order to purge some of the negative energy. What I've found through my life is that my mind will uncover ways to deal with stress and anxiety but divert from the actual issue that is causing it. So, before my P4 grading in March 2014 I was nervous about everything from work to my cat to the price of petrol in Tesco. As a child I was told that I should suppress all negative emotion and that a "sulky face" brought the mood down for those around me and would not get me any friends. Better to have a "smile on my little face" and smother all that negative feeling so other people wouldn't feel put off by me.

The mind in its complexity can't handle the above scenario and what happened was my brain simply found other things to vent the stress on to.

Step back and look at this for a moment.

I'm at a Krav Maga seminar with guys from my club. Several high ranking "officers" of the organisation I belong to are in the same room as me. There's a lot of people training that day. Eyal Yanilov was a myth up to that point. Someone I'd only seen on the P1 to P4 DVDs or on photos on the Facebook group. Now I was in his presence. It was overwhelming.

As adolescent as this sounds, it was how I felt and right or wrong we can't control HOW we feel. We can however control HOW we react to those feelings.

As the day wore on we worked up a sweat and when it got to about half an hour before finishing time we sat on the floor chatting and I could see Eyal walking around and tapping people on the shoulder. I was next to my club's instructor Al, who I'd been training with. Butterflies began to fly in erratic patterns in my stomach. The "selection" was happening. The people selected would move to the mats in the middle of the room. I tried to ignore what was going on. I didn't want to "stand out" in any way and run the gauntlet of being picked. Eyal was roaming around picking people. The little voice in my head went off again.

"You can still offer this to Lewis. Anyway he's more likely to pick Al than you. Just look at the floor and try not to breathe or move until he's gone past. They've chosen 8 or 9 by now anyway so you won't get picked. Just keep staring at the floor and you'll be fine, just don't look up, whatever you do don't look......"

Out of the corner of my eye I could see Eyal's legs next to me. I heard him say "We need one more". I looked up and he was looking right at me. Smiling he asked "Do you want to do it?"

I replied "Oh yes!!" and practically leapt to my feet. As I walked to join the others I heard Al say, "Go for it Lance!"

We were taken to one side by Wayne Hubball and the rules of what was about to happen were explained. Each of us would go up one at a time against BOTH Predators with Alan Dennis as the referee/ invigilator to make certain things didn't get out of hand. The point of this was to see how we reacted under adrenalin based scenarios with little or no time to think. While he was talking I could feel my anxiety branching off and sprouting leaves in areas I hadn't known existed 10 minutes previously. Everyone else gathered around the mats and I tried to keep my eyes focussed on no one in particular. I was now beyond nervous.

As we lined up I stood at what I thought was going to be the first position but the other end of the line got to go first, meaning I would be the last one to fight.

Shit!

At my club I always try to go first or second on pressure drills or scenarios where fear can be debilitating to simply get it out of the way and not let my imagination run riot.

Shit!

As the fights began it looked scary. The bullet men didn't go easy on anybody. One guy was beasted by them and some actually "lost" the fights they got into. As the minutes dragged on and felt like hours, only pride was keeping me from walking out. I was scared beyond measure.

Finally it was my go and Alan introduced me to everyone and I got a round of applause. I couldn't look at anyone from my club because I thought that would make me feel even worse. Alan briefed the Predators on what to do and then whispered to me that they were going to try and box me in and I had to initially verbally communicate to try and stop it. My heart was pounding and I was trying to keep a stone face. As the Predators approached me I tried to talk them down and my voice seemed to croak out of my throat. The fight kicked off and I was jumped by the second Predator from behind. Everyone was cheering and as we tussled I managed to get on top of him and straddled him with my legs wide so he couldn't tip me off. I could hear cries of "Kick him in the bollocks!" and "In the head! In the head!"

Finally it was over and Alan pulled me off the guy. It felt like about 10 minutes had passed but in reality the fight lasted about a minute. Now it was over I felt good. The nerves were gone and the annoying gremlin voice was nowhere to be heard. All those nerves and stress and above all FEAR had tested my courage more than the fight itself.

Afterwards someone said I looked "Well ready for it" and  a good mate from my club said that my nervousness hadn't showed and " The trademark Manley swagger said 'I'm ready for this shit, bring it on'. Time to give your hypnotherapist a bonus." I hadn't felt like that at all, I had in fact been scared out of my wits.

What this made me realise is that some of the most stone faced fighters in my club are probably just as scared as I was when in similar situations.

Fear can indeed show you where the edge is. It just needs taming first.