Today I posted an April 1st prank on Facebook. Didn't think ANYONE would fall for it but a few did.
Google the word "Sciocco" and see what comes up....
Details below.
"Stories from a 50-something judoka."
Wednesday, 1 April 2015
Wednesday, 25 March 2015
Foregone
On Saturday 21st
March 2015 I took my P5 examination but I didn't pass it.
After a gruelling test, as me and the other nine P5
candidates sat on the floor around examiner Nadav Shosan while the sweat dried
on our sodden T-shirts and we sipped water from partially crushed plastic
bottles, the atmosphere was tense. He briefly broke down exactly what we'd done
wrong as a group and then moved on to individual feedback and scores.
I was last up (there is a yin and a yang to being the last
one in the line up. During the exam, you get to see what everyone else is doing
but you also have to wait a while to know your result). He looked at me and
said flatly. "You need to retest everything. The spirit is there, the
heart is there...but not the technique."
As previous postings on this blog have shown, I had spent
time preparing both physically and mentally for the grading and was determined
to take the news, either good or bad, with dignity and a positive attitude.
Nadav elaborated that I needed to work on self defence and
weapons again. I replied "Do I want to know my score?" and after
totting up the individual marks he said "You got 66%".
The minimum pass is 70%. I smiled and said "I'll be back in October" which
got a pat on the back from my grading partner and a round of applause from the
other P5 candidates.
I felt I had prepared well. I'd spent as much time as I
could in front of the TV watching the P5 DVD and practicing the moves. I'd been
to the revision sessions at my club and had abstained from alcohol for a week
before the testing. I'd gone to bed early with a healthy, carb-heavy meal the
night before and had done yoga and a cardio based regime at the gym for 5 weeks
prior.
The test itself was a mixture of P4 and P5 stuff. My problem
was that I'd not revised any of my P4 material and hadn't really touched it
since October of last year. I knew I was making mistakes when tested on the
moves but hoped the other areas would pull me through.
The sparring was the usual gruel fest. 7 rounds of 2
minutes, slightly different scenarios each time. By round 5 I had spat my gum
shield out at least twice as I was struggling to breathe. After that we had 10
rounds of 4 vs 1, with two turns as the defender and 8 as an attacker holding a
stick, a knife or a strike shield.
Unlike my P4 exam where I had sat waiting for my results
with certain petulance about not coming back if I failed, I was pleased that
this time my genuine mindset was one of acceptance and a desire to return at a
later date and pass. I didn't feel bitter, or sad or angry. I was disappointed
and felt the pangs as I watched the other guys get their certificates and
patches.
But overall...thanks to a mixture of hard work; reading
articles on both how to approach gradings and how to deal with fear;
determination to give it my all and acceptance of whichever result I was to
receive.
This time the work I did, unlike on the previous 4 gradings,
didn't get me the new patch. What it did do however was help me to evolve. To
accept feedback from the examiner at face value. To believe that my score was
fair. To know that I could come back in 6 short months and try again. Above
all....to take the experience as one of learning and improvement of my skills.
Nadav told me privately afterwards that I my P5 stuff was OK
but the P4 stuff had let me down. He also gave me a massive ego boost when he
said I'd got 8 out of 10 for my fighting...even though this is the one area I
thought I was weakest on. Fact he had mentioned twice how much I had my hands
down during the bouts meant that the high score was for how I approached the
fights, not my skills as a fighter.
This was overall a disappointment but I regard it as
something that has helped me to accept and to learn, and for that the
experience was invaluable.
Wednesday, 18 March 2015
The Seether
As my P5 exam looms ever closer, I find myself lapsing into
the type of behaviour that I indulged in just before P4, a year ago.
Bitten nails, wandering around the flat aimlessly, even more
time spent on Facebook than normal, watching movies, tidying up without a real
reason to and above all...worrying.
Today I was listening to some older music from my collection
that I haven't played in a while. Awesome band Veruca Salt released a song back
in the 90s called "The Seether." In it the singer Louise describes
the rage monster that she becomes when angry. She admitted in interviews that
this was something she found unable to control and would say the most terrible
things to her family and friends. The song talks about "keeping her on a
short leash" and "trying to knock her out" but nothing can stop
"The Seether."
Louise said she regarded it as something that overcame her
and made her something totally, utterly alien to her normal self. She hated how she
became but like a female Hulk, sometimes her moods just could not be
controlled.
My Seether is a bit less aggressive, but still a
distraction. It takes over my life and makes me fret about meaningless shit. My
P5 grading is important to me but failing it is NOT the end of the world. I'll
repeat that for myself:
FAILING IT IS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD.
Even typing those words I can feel my Seether getting a bit
confused. After all, he/ it sat with me loyally in the run up to P4 and
dutifully got me to bite my nails to red ruin, end up taking double my prescribed
dosage of beta blockers and get Oxford Dictionary Ltd to phone me up asking if
I'd like to be the poster boy for the definition of the word
"stress".
Today I also read this excellent and reassuring article by Jon Bullock, head of KMG UK. He gives a lot of good advice about how to approach a grading with the right mindset.
My Seether is a blunt instrument and not the most
intelligent of beasts. It takes all that worry and nerves and outsources them
to other areas of my life. In the days before a grading I will find myself
wondering if I've got enough cat litter in the house. I'll procrastinate over
the fact that I have only 2 tins of tuna instead of 3. I'll even worry about
whether or not to replace my toothbrush.
My Seether isn't as extreme as Louise's but it's still
there. Tonight I was mirroring the P5 techniques via the DVD on my telly, and
got to the bit where Eyal Yanilov is talking about breathing techniques to
remain calm and focussed. He pointedly says that if you can control your
emotions you will learn to "control the fight."
My Seether makes me a shadow of the man I want to be. It makes me dithery, unfocussed, tired and panicky. It takes a wonderful experience like a Krav Maga grading and turns it into a court room appearance for a murder charge.
I will now reabsorb my Seether and change it into something
called The Foundation. It will aid me in the run up to my grading in 3 days
with a few nerves but more a supportive way of eating healthily, sleeping
adequately and keeping myself fit for the day.
The Seether isn't a bastard. It does what it's programmed to
do. It can however be retrained so it's not debilitating but an asset.
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